Chatterbox: The Joys of Being Single, Why You Shouldn't Rush a Relationship, and How to Identify a Bad Fit (02/05/2026 - 02/12/2026)
The Joys of Being Single
Let's start with some positives! There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single and enjoying being single. I've personally chosen to stay away from dating after my last relationship and it's been a blast for a number of reasons. To name a few:
❤️ More Personal Time: Everyone needs time to themselves, especially if you work a very public facing job. I personally enjoy just having the time to decompress without someone requiring my attention.
❤️ More Time With Family: While this may not apply to everyone, my family has always been very close. My exes didn't like my family, so I often felt forced to choose between spending time with my family and spending time with my partner. This sort of ultimatum decision making can cause a bit of a divide between couples, and it really puts strain on the relationship.
❤️ Setting Standards: Reflecting on past relationships while you're single can give you a chance to set higher standards for relationships going forward. Maybe your past partner had poor hygiene? Maybe they were a slob? Maybe they didn't want to work and expected you to cover the finances and the housekeeping? All of these are things to think about when you're single especially if you're fresh out of a relationship.
Why You Shouldn't Rush a Relationship
Everyone knows the saying good things take time. Relationships especially hold true to that statement, because you need time to determine if someone is going to be the right fit for you. While statistically men do fall in love faster than men, here are a few things everyone should consider before getting into a relationship:
🩷 Is This Person Right For Me?: Finding a perfect match isn't always guaranteed, but finding someone that compliments your energy isn't impossible. I tend to ask heavy hitting questions on the first date, just to see how the person of interest answers them. What are their goals? Where do they see themselves in the future? Do you have any similar interests or hobbies? How do they align politically/religiously? These are important things to consider when determining if someone is a good match. In the same way you don't want to be pushed into an uncomfortable situation, you don't want them to be uncomfortable with you either.
🩷 Will a Relationship Hurt or Help My Personal Goals?: Sometimes certain goals are difficult to achieve with a partner. While it is nice to have additional support, finding someone who is going to help you achieve your personal goals should be a top priority and you should strive to be that kind of partner as well.
🩷 Am I in the Right Headspace For a Relationship?: There are times where we just aren't ready to have additional people in our lives. Maybe we're overwhelmed at work or we're trying to dig ourselves out of a rut, whatever the case may be. While it's important to look at the kind of person your potential partner is going to be its also important to look at the type of partner that YOU are going to be. Are you going to be able to have time for this person? Are you going to be able to support them when they're at their lowest points at that time? These are all things to consider.
How to Identify a Bad Match
In instances where we already have a partner or a potential partner, what are some ways that we can identify if someone is just not going to work? These are some things that I wish I had done sooner, because while I identified them I didn't always listen to them and it caused me more trouble in the long run:
🚩 Not Respecting Boundaries: This is the first and most important way to identify if someone is a bad match for you. If you clearly set boundaries, and they continue to overstep them, even with warnings, it might be a good idea to take a step back and reconsider. I find this especially important for small things, if you set a small boundary and they overstep it what's going to stop them from overstepping a much larger boundary?
🚩 Snooping: As adults we're entitled to some measure of privacy, even in a relationship. Your partner shouldn't have your passwords, they shouldn't demand access to your phone, to see who you're talking to, or to track your location on Snapchat. In a healthy relationship with a healthy amount of trust this isn't necessary and if they come immediately out the gate with these controlling behaviors it can and should be off putting, especially if you've proven over and over that you're being loyal.
🚩 Giving You Ultimatums: You should NEVER have to choose between your job, family, friends, interests, or your partner. They should be mature enough to not put you in that situation, and really its a massive red flag if they try to make you choose between them and other people or things that you love (especially if they came afterwards!).
🚩 Controlling Tendencies: If your partner or potential partner is telling you how to dress, who you can interact with, or what you can post online it should start ringing alarm bells for you. It's not normal or healthy for your partner to demand control over any aspect of your life, but especially the aspects of your life that are personal such as your sense of style or friendships.
🚩 Threats or Implications of Harm: This goes without saying but if they drop subtle threats or implications that they may try to physically harm you kick them to the curb or make it known that you will defend yourself if necessary. If you feel like you're life is genuinely in danger though, definitely look to some outside resources for assistance because stalkers are no joke and your safety should be your top priority.
Closing
That's all that I have for you guys right now, I hope everyone is having a wonderful February so far. Is there anything else that could be added to this list? Let me know in the comments I would love to hear from you guys! If you want to see more from me feel free to click the link below where you can find my other socials. Y'all take care, and thanks for stopping by!
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